"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands…stomp your feet…shout ‘hooray'"…fill in whatever words finish the verses as you remember them. The children's song can be traced back many decades, and while the instructions seem clear: clap, stomp or shout if you're happy, it presupposes we know what it is to be happy.
If you're happy…Well, are you? Are you happy? What does that even mean?
I am currently working with a great cast and crew as we prepare to bring the musical "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown" to the stage. A song called "Happiness" finds each of the characters sharing what it means to them. Happiness is…two scoops of ice cream…climbing a tree…knowing a secret…getting along. Is it as simple as that?
Researchers have long studied the concept to see how different cultures view the term and how perceptions of happiness change over time. One study looked at the way the President of the United States used the word 'happiness' in State of the Union addresses throughout history. In the 1800's, happiness was linked to luck and prosperity. By the mid 1900's, happiness was referring to an emotion declaring a sense of satisfaction.
Given that the 'pursuit of happiness' is found in the Declaration of Independence, it's an interesting question for American researchers to look at, especially since today's understanding of what it means differs from what the founding fathers intended. Perhaps our sense of happiness has changed, too.
Most of us associate a pursuit as something we chase. Happiness then, would be something we go after. But the authors of the declaration were not talking about seeking something, but rather practicing it. It's the difference between trying to be happy versus actually being happy. So it's not about searching for what makes one happy in the moment, but rather thinking of happiness as a state of being.
Many seek out what will make them happy. A better job. An exotic vacation. A bigger house. More money. More friends. Less stress. But in the pursuit of what might make us happy, maybe we have forgotten how to simply be happy. Forgotten how to be happy in the moment. In the everyday. In the routine.
In pursuing the next big thing that might make us happy, we might be overlooking all the little things that already do. Running sand through our fingers on the beach, watching a toddler splash in a wading pool, a cup of coffee and a conversation, cheering on a favorite team, the smell of freshly mown grass, a welcome home hug, flipping through the pages of a photo album, finding a snack in the fridge, a hot shower, hearing a favorite song, or any of those moments we may not see as particularly noteworthy, but are things that should be experienced with gratitude, when we see them for the gift they are. Moments that are happening without fear of air raid sirens, gun violence or terror. Simple events that are far removed from the experience of so many. Because despite whatever individual challenges we may face, we still get to do these things in places of peace, enjoying fundamental freedoms, and living with a sense of security.
Happiness doesn't occur because there is an absence of problems. It is not about everything being pleasant all the time. Instead, it means recognizing that while we will experience sorrow, pain and heartache, we do so against a backdrop of blessedness in so many ways. In those moments, feeling happy isn't nearly as important as feeling comforted, connected, safe, cared for and loved.
Imagine finding happiness, not in an achievement, but in an awareness that we live lives that allow us to pursue achievements in the first place. Imagine happiness, not as seeking to satisfy our own desires, but as helping others fulfill theirs. Imagine happiness, not as something we feel, but as something we practice every day.
Earlier this month the 10th annual World Happiness Report was released ranking more than 150 countries in evaluating how happy its citizens are. For the fifth year in a row Finland tops the list followed by Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland and Netherlands. Canada came in at 14th place.
Perhaps the beloved Peanuts characters know what they are saying when they sing about finding happiness in the simplest of things. Singing together…sharing a sandwich…anyone and anything loved by you.
If our goal is simply to make ourselves happy we are seeing so little of what life has to offer. Rather than focusing on our own personal satisfaction, imagine if we were all intent on helping those around us experience true contentment and real joy. Instead of asking ourselves how happy we are, the better question would be asking how we could contribute to somebody else's happiness today. That's my outlook.
