It's just past 4:30 in the morning.
Most people in this town are sleeping, but I just got back from a very cool and at times emotional trip down Memory Lane.
You see, I got a DVD for Christmas last month from my brother Perry. No, it wasn't a movie I've been wanting to add to my collection. In fact, in the age of everything streaming these days, I honestly can't remember the last time I bought a physical DVD or Blu-ray disc.
No, the contents of this particular DVD, which was personally made, mind you, are three hours and forty-three minutes of old camcorder footage that was captured in February of 1989. It's a family affair on the Dallas side, my mom's family, starring my Grandpa Merriel and Grandma Gladys on the occasion of their 60th wedding anniversary.
A whole army of parents, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews and close friends and well wishers came together at the Outlook Legion Hall to celebrate, and man oh man, it was such a trip sitting back and watching so many relatives appear on-screen, looking so much younger and more vibrant. Of course, that's the 34-year difference talking.
At this particular time in our lives, I was three years old going on four. I'm maybe three feet tall, arriving at approximately my dad's knees.
I wanted a copy of this ever since Brendon and I saw some footage back at Perry's place in November. It's nothing short of a small miracle that such footage, and a hefty amount of it, came into our possession after literally decades.
I watched this DVD in my apartment this past Saturday night and I smiled. I smiled, I cried, I laughed, and I cried a little more. Add in some more laughing, especially at the site of my gruff, manly father wearing a dress and playing his part in the mock wedding recreation of Grandpa and Grandma's big day way back in 1929. Yes, folks, Jack Ruttle wore a dress. It was over his long-sleeve button-up shirt and dress pants, but it was still a dress.
As I watched all of this footage, at the same time though, it's impossible to ignore the sharp left hook right to the gut because the hard truth is that I'm seeing so much family who isn't here with us anymore. There's my mom, in her violet dress and making a speech that 3-year old Derek briefly interrupts to laughs from the crowd. There's Dad, sauntering in like a smooth criminal and without his trademark shuffle just yet; evidently, Dad's knees were still in working shape in 1989.
There's Uncle Keith, doing a brief jig to get my attention and having the gall to walk off with MY nose. There's Aunt Lois, carrying baby Brendon around the hall at a time in his life when he wasn't 6'4" just yet. There's Uncle Lloyd, beaming up the room with his trademark grin, and there's my classy Aunt Verna making sure things are in order, and there's my dad's friend, Ken Blixt coming into the hall with my mom's friend, Margaret Latimer.
I watched this DVD, and of course, the right sleeve of my shirt wound up serving as a napkin to dry my eyes. I remember thinking, 'My God, there are so many great, unforgettable people in our family who are now gone. Where the hell does the time go?'
I was 10 years old, watching as my mom drove us out of the Conquest School driveway and we headed home, with the school set to close in just days.
Then I was 18 years old, walking up the stage to graduate with my fellow Class of '04 gang.
Then I was 20, venturing off to Victoria to go to film school out on the British Columbia west coast.
Then I was 26, collecting my first newspaper award for Best Feature Story at the banquet in Regina.
Then I was 35, unaware that this would be the last time I would celebrate my birthday with Mom sitting there and smiling at me.
In life, sometimes it can feel like as if we all collectively blink and a handful of years are instantly a part of the past.
But the truth is that time doesn't "go" anywhere. It passes by all of us, no slower and no faster than at any other time in modern human history. What we as humans do with our time is completely up to us. You might go on a luxurious vacation, you might go out to the movies, you might meet some friends for supper, or you might just feel like a night in with a good book and a good drink. Meanwhile, time will simply keep on moving and never stop.
In my book, now is the time to make some memories. None of us know how long we have on this earth, so you have to make life worth living and enjoyable with both the people that you love and with yourself.
Grab life and shake it for all its worth. Because what's the point in any of this if you don't swing for the proverbial fence?
Ask that girl out. OK, I will. (and I'll be sure to stock up on some whiskey when she says no)
Start that project you've been considering. Fine, I'll get rolling on it.
Put yourself out there. I'll do it, but I can't promise that anyone will be accepting!
There are no guarantees about anything in this life. The only thing you can do is make sure that at the end of it, you've lived an interesting, entertaining, and an emotionally fulfilling one.
Well, let's get started.
Stay tuned.
For this week, that's been the Ruttle Report.
