聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 I don't remember how old I was.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I do remember how tall Dad looked to me. So I must have been pretty young.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 On that mild winter's afternoon, I was outside 鈥渉elping鈥� Dad (which at that time meant I was playing close by while he worked). Dad was making chop for the cattle. He was using the PTO on the tractor to run the machine. I don't remember much about what the whole process looked like. I can just barely picture the old tractor he was using.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 But, I do remember seeing that massive belt that was hooked to the PTO. I remember standing and watching it. It almost looked as though that heavy belt had transformed into a fluid.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I imagined it might feel something like syrup.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I stretched out my hand to touch it.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 My feet left the ground.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Before I even had time to breathe, I felt myself lifted up, then set back down again. I was now meters away from where I'd been standing half a heartbeat before.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Dad was clasping me by the shoulders. Decades have passed since the moment happened. But, I can still see the look on Dad's face as clearly as if the incident had happened five minutes ago. I now know that the peculiar tone I heard in his voice that afternoon was pure shock.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淒on't touch that! Connie, that's a machine. Machines don't care if they kill you!!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 It took a few years for me to understand everything that my Dad taught me that day.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 In that instant, Dad taught me that even the handiest tool can hurt you. He taught me not to base my decisions solely on what I think I see. He taught me to stand back and think twice before I commit myself to doing something that I might regret. He taught me that before I decide to put my trust in something (or someone); I'd better know that trust is warranted.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Above all,my Dad taught me that even when I make a bad decision, his love for me will never falter.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I have not always taken heed of the lessons my Dad taught me. I'm not going to treat you here to a litany of all of the poor decisions that I've made over the years. (Neither of us has THAT much time.)
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 But I will tell you this:
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Whenever I have repented of my mistakes; the lessons that my Dad taught me have proven to be my best tools; whether I am trying to repair the damage or starting from scratch. And through it all, I have grown more and more thankful for the blessing that my Dad has been in my life.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 These days, God has entrusted me with the task of being Emily's only living parent. At times, I struggle to try and 鈥渇ill in the gaps鈥� that Gary's death has left. The older she gets, the more I find myself seeking God's guidance, as I try to fill the role of both 'Mom' and 'Dad'.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Often, I find that the example God puts before me, is the example that my Dad set in my life.聽聽聽聽聽聽 The lessons I learned from my Dad that particular winter's afternoon, and in the years that followed, are still among my most reliable tools.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 With a thankful heart, I strive each day to use them well.聽
