It seemed like a good idea at the time. To save ourselves from the work of preparing a full turkey dinner we decided to change the menu at Thanksgiving last year.
In the weeks leading up to it we found ourselves dealing with rather full schedules. (Remember a time when we had all kinds of activities evenings and weekends?) Anyway, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving we craved a day when we could rest up a bit and maybe get some work done in the backyard. We decided that instead of spending a day preparing our traditional Thanksgiving meal, we would plan one that required less side dishes and far less preparation so we could use those hours for other things.
It was a great idea.
Until it was time to eat.
As the family gathered ‘round the fall-themed table amidst the decorations of pumpkins, leaves and cornucopias, my mouth started watering for the flavors that had normally accompanied this holiday for me. I had craved a day when we didn’t have to do a bunch of food prep and now all I craved was the food I wish we had prepared. I saw drudgery in the work behind our usual meal; then discontent at not getting to eat it. A picture of gratitude at Thanksgiving? Not in the least.   Â
In my desire not to ‘have’ to make a turkey dinner, I ended up showcasing huge ingratitude. But how many other times have I used the same sort of vocabulary and not realized how ungrateful I sound. We do it all the time when we say things like: I have to go to work. I have to wash the floor. I have to go get groceries.
The way we speak of these things makes it seem like they are obligations, which of course they are. They have to be done. But if we look at them as requirements and responsibilities, instead of opportunities and advantages, we won’t give them the consideration they are due.
So change one word--just one word--and consider the difference.
I get to go to work because I have a job to go to. I get to wash the floor because I have a floor...unlike the 1.5 billion people who become ill with serious infections from the parasitic worms that live in contaminated soil under their feet. I get to pick up groceries because I have easy access to food.
Our weeks are filled with tasks that we may not particularly like, but at their very foundation is something that needs to be a point of thanks. We get to clean bathrooms because we have plumbing and sanitation. We get to do loads of laundry because we have closets full of clothes. We get to make supper…just like we did yesterday…because there is food in our fridges, and appliances to use in its preparation.
Yes, a turkey is going into the oven at our house this weekend. Yes, we will make our usual vegetable casseroles, potato dish, and all the family favorites. Not because it is expected, because it’s not. Not because we deserve it, because we don’t. I don’t ‘have’ to prepare Thanksgiving dinner this year - I get to. What a unique privilege it truly is.
Perhaps one of the things I need to be most thankful for is the understanding that what is just part of simple tradition for me is beyond the wildest imagination of too many others. That’s my outlook.
