How easy are you to work with? It’s worth asking—and, even better, checking.
Every workday comes with some trouble. If you’re difficult to work with, you make it at least double for your colleagues.
And if you’re considered a “competent jerk” because of your work habits and personality, you run the risk of losing out on opportunities, being ignored or leaving the organization “to spend more time with your family.” As Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo wrote in their Harvard Business Review article , people prefer working with lovable fools over competent jerks.
Take, for example, the hyper-skilled yet abrasive colleague who meets deadlines but alienates teammates. Over time, people work around them rather than with them, limiting their influence and career growth.
Research suggests you’re more desirable to work with if you have a little more likeability than extra competence. If you’re liked, your colleagues will seek out every bit of competence you have. But if you’re a jerk, forget it—no one wants to work with you.
So, what can you do to be considered easy to work with, especially by colleagues and leaders who are pressed for time and have influence over your career? Try these seven tips:
1) Be available, but set boundaries
Respond to emails, messages and requests within a reasonable time frame—generally within a few hours if you’re working on a project and within 24 hours for external contacts. But in today’s world of hybrid and remote work, constant availability isn’t always necessary. Set clear expectations about when and how you communicate, whether it’s through Slack, Teams, Zoom or email. If you’ll be unavailable for a period, communicate that in advance.
2) Use language that resonates with your customers
If your customers commissioned the work, they’ll appreciate it (and you) more if both the work and your communication make sense to them. If you disagree with their request, address it before delivering the final product. Don’t surprise them. Or worse, don’t argue with them in an unproductive way.
As for language, mirror your customers’ vocabulary. If a customer loves presentation decks, call them decks—not slide shows.
3) Talk in headlines—make communication clear and concise
Before speaking, decide on your key point and three supporting details. Your headline doesn’t have to be as punchy as Headless Body in Topless Bar (a famous New York Post headline), but it should cut through the clutter. If people want more details, they’ll ask.
With the rise of AI-generated content, inboxes and chat threads are increasingly cluttered. The ability to distill information clearly and concisely helps set you apart in an era where attention spans are shorter than ever.
4) Say “yes, and” instead of “yes, but”
This technique, borrowed from improv theatre, helps maintain momentum in discussions. The phrase “yes, and” keeps the conversation moving rather than shutting down ideas and engagement. This is particularly useful in today’s collaborative and creative workplaces, where innovation often depends on building on others’ ideas rather than dismissing them outright.
5) Be ready with solutions, not just problems
When colleagues or bosses ask questions, especially about scenarios, be prepared with helpful answers. If they ask, “What would you do?” have an informed opinion. Saying, “If I were you, I wouldn’t have gotten into this situation” is unhelpful and makes you look uncooperative.
If you’re asked a yes-or-no question, answer it directly. If someone asks, “How much time are we giving them?” clarify: “Are you asking about customers, employees or another group?” Avoid overwhelming people with unnecessary information when they’re looking for a quick answer.
6) Let others decide the value of your work
Avoid saying, “You’re going to love this work I’ve done for you.” Your customer or boss decides the value of your work—not you. Instead, focus on meeting their expectations and let them determine how well you delivered.
7) Handle mistakes without blame
When things go wrong, resist the urge to say, “You made a mistake.” Even if it’s true, you’re making a bad situation worse. If you’re the one who messed up, own it. Blaming others erodes trust and damages team dynamics. Instead, focus on solutions.
The reality is the people who thrive aren’t just the smartest or the hardest-working — they’re the ones who make collaboration effortless.
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